Solution to Evan Birnholzs March 27 Post Magazine crossword, Oscar Snubs

Next week is the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. If you’re going to be there, come say hi; I’ll be that guy with a ponytail who likes crosswords. I’m sure that’s a helpful description. But anyhow, it’ll be (really) nice to finally catch up with folks I haven’t seen in person in about two-and-a-half years.

It’s Oscar night, so what better way to mark the occasion than with a crossword about movies? Six films have titles that suggest they could have won an Oscar for a specific category, but didn’t:

• 63A: [2005 comedy starring Queen Latifah that surprisingly didn’t win an Oscar for best makeup and hairstyling?] is “BEAUTY SHOP.”
• 86A: [2006 romantic mystery starring Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti and Jessica Biel that surprisingly didn’t win an Oscar for best visual effects?] is “THE ILLUSIONIST.”
• 116A: [2012 musical comedy starring Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson that surprisingly didn’t win an Oscar for best sound?] is “PITCH PERFECT.”
• 3D: [1980 thriller starring Michael Caine and Angie Dickinson that surprisingly didn’t win an Oscar for best costume design?] is “DRESSED TO KILL.”
• 8D: [2004 sci-fi thriller starring Robin Williams that surprisingly didn’t win an Oscar for best film editing?] is “THE FINAL CUT.”
• 11D/16D: [With 16 Down, 1965 epic starring Max von Sydow that surprisingly didn’t win an Oscar for best original screenplay?] is “THE GREATEST / STORY EVER TOLD.”

How could “The Greatest Story Ever Told” *not* win the Oscar for best original screenplay? It’s literally telling you that there are no better stories than that. Same thing with “Pitch Perfect” and the Oscar for best sound; only a film called “Pitch Even More Perfect” deserves that Oscar more. Just bad decision-making there, the Academy.

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Jokes aside, I wasn’t sure when I started thinking of this theme that I’d find enough reasonably well-known films to fit. A few that I snubbed from the puzzle include the 1960 film “TUNES OF GLORY” and the 2012 film “ROCK OF AGES,” which could have won the Oscar for best original score; and the 1994 basketball film “THE AIR UP THERE” theoretically could have won the Oscar for best original song, if you interpret “air” to mean “song.”

In keeping with the Oscars theme, I threw in a boatload of film-related clues elsewhere:

• 36A: [Nicholas who directed “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan”] is MEYER.
• 37A: [ “Election” actress Witherspoon or “Harlem Nights” actress Della] is REESE.
• 44A: [ “Mamma Mia!” quartet] is ABBA.
• 56A: [ “Hair” clips?] is SCENES.
• 75A: [Lead weapon in “Clue”] is PIPE.
• 76A: [ “Underworld” director Wiseman] is LEN.
• 77A: [Find for Indiana Jones] is RELIC.
• 79A: [Bottom line of film?] is SUBTITLE. My favorite clue today.
• 100A: [ “Battle of the Sexes” actress Riseborough] is ANDREA.
• 115A: [Hanks, Hardy, Hiddleston or Holland of Hollywood] is TOM. Who knew there were so many acting Tom H’s?
• 124A: [ “Mass” actress Dowd] is ANN.
• 125A: ["___ Misérables”] is LES.
• 127A: [ “Exodus” director Preminger] is OTTO.
• 5D: [ “Hold That Ghost” co-star Costello] is LOU.
• 9D: [A.I. villain in “2001: A Space Odyssey”] is HAL.
• 10D: [One of many pack animals carried by Luisa in “Encanto”] is ASS.
• 17D: [Gal Gadot or Natalie Portman, by birth] is ISRAELI.
• 29D: [Olive ___ ( “Popeye” character once played by Shelley Duvall)] is OYL.
• 38D: [Santa’s helper played by Will Ferrell in 2003] is ELF.
• 39D: [Number of fingers on Count Rugen’s right hand, in “The Princess Bride”] is SIX.
• 54D: ["___ the Dragon” (classic Bruce Lee film)] is ENTER.
• 58D: [Sch. where Regina Hall received a master’s degree in journalism] is NYU.
• 61D: [Mary Poppins or Mrs. Doubtfire, e.g.] is NANNY.
• 74D: [ “The Magnificent Seven” actor Brynner] is YUL.
• 82D: [ “Cast Away” locale] is ISLE.
• 88D: [Nation where the film “Taste of Cherry” is set] is IRAN.
• 95D: [Captain Marvel or Wonder Woman, e.g.] is HEROINE.
• 108D: [ “Juice” actor Omar] is EPPS.
• 110D: [ “Divergent” series actor ___ James] is THEO.
• 113D: [Cookie eaten in “Rounders”] is OREO. I’ve never seen this movie the whole way through, but I did remember watching on YouTube a couple of scenes of John Malkovich as Teddy KGB eating Oreos. It was a handy way to clue everyone’s favorite crossword cookie in a way that I hadn’t previously seen.

And I threw in a little sign-off at the final Across answer at 129A: SEE (["___ you next week!”)]. What did you think?

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